Step Back, Move Forward, Don't Jump

Up to now I've been following my own best advice: listen to my body to gauge how much I'm recovered enough to do. In the week since I last posted I've been down with two simultaneous infections, unable to exercise and stuck at home. Just before then I was feeling strong and reaching for normality in my life, but drinks with friends proved to be more than I was ready for. Now I've lost ground in my progress at the gym and in my self-confidence. It will be an uphill climb to regain each.

Now I'm not sure how to trust my own sense of strength, and I question my judgment when I become overeager to jump back into life. I don't want to live hesitantly now, same as I have all year.

Recovering from treatment requires so much patience. Living with the uncertainties of cancer requires trust and confidence. I feel like I'm in low supply of all those qualities. It's clear the battle continues far beyond the end of treatment. I just need to get used to the truth of that.